Stop That Brain!

For the last couple of days I have been re-reading Galapagos, by Kurt Vonnegut.  A theme of this book is mankind evolving to have smaller brains, because big brains as we currently have them are just more trouble than they are worth.  Big brains are nothing but the “irresponsible generators of suggestions”.  I can dig that.

Take tonight, for instance.  I spend a couple of merry hours this evening researching for an epic blog post I was working on about the London 2012 Olympic Games.  But after a brief digichat with an ex-girlfriend my big brain became distracted.  The epic blog post became harder and harder to concentrate on, and took longer and longer to write.  About half an hour ago my big brain made me delete a whole evenings work, probably five or six hundred words worth.  Fuck you, brain!

Mind you, I have always been easily distracted.  My Mum still has my school report cards that say exactly that on them.  It was a girl called Mhairi then.  Not that I ever actually spoke to the lass.  She lived near me, and I remember I would do anything to get on the same bus as her.  I shudder to think what her big brain suggested to her about me, the strange boy in braces who loved her from a distance, without the gumption to actually say or do anything about it.  Though I did get myself the belt once for throwing a brick in a puddle and splashing her.  My brain thought it would impress her.  I was 12 or 13 or thereabouts.

Of course, I’m nearly 40 now, and my days of throwing bricks in puddles to splash lassies are over.  Age has caught up with me, any bricks I throw now I only splash myself.

Word of advise, if you ever get an awesome woman in your life, and I mean A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Woman, don’t fuck it up.  It’s harder than giving up fags fur fox sake.  I’m trying to find consolation in the fact it’s my brain’s fault, not mine.

PS – Epic Olympic Blog Post Coming Soon 😉

Empire Olympics

I was on night-shift last night, so did not see the Olympics Opening Ceremony, excepting a few little snippets here and there.  On coming home this morning I find that the internet is ablaze with comment and outrage because a man apparently gave a Nazi Salute as the German Olympians entered the arena.  Admittedly, it does not look great, but I do not think this is a Nazi salute at all.  The Nazi salute is a straight, right arm gesture.  This man was waving his left arm about, and not his right.  A quick search on Google images for ‘nazi salute’ reveals a rather different posture.

Interestingly, what has not been talked about so much is a tweet by Piers Morgan which read We need to be an Empire again – seriously. #ProudOfBritain“.   Some might argue that the British Empire was at least the equal of the Nazi regime in terms of terror, racism, and murderous intent.  But there is no outcry when a prominent Brit makes a call for a return to the good old days, when Britain claimed the “white man’s burden” in dealing with, and controlling the ‘inferior’ nations of the world.

Hypocrites?  Us?  Nah, surely not….